Amazon Brand Registry Trademarks

4/30/2024 update: as I was writing this, I made the mistake of checking my email and it turned out Amazon Brand Registry sent me an email stating that my application with my trademark was approved. It might be in part because I am very vocal about what has been happening after having wrongly swatted me a couple of months ago, pulled my book, continued to charge me money for ads, and then wrecked my rankings and sales for my other titles. I raised quite a stir on social media. Now, I don’t know how smoothly this process runs for others out there, but as the proverb goes: the squeaky wheel gets the grease…

Now because people are often litigious jerks, I have to state that I’m a non-attorney spokesperson, for myself. Proceed at your own risk.

Congrats me. Yay. I have an official Hello Charlie™ coloring books trademark. Well, not official but it is official. I can officially use the TM but not the R. But they’re working on the whole R part as we speak and if I use that R, they (the government) can sue me into an alternate universe. I know it’s confusing because it is, and it’s meant to be that way by design, something I mockingly refer to as “job security engineering.” The entire process has lots of little tricks they’ve inserted along the way to help confuse mere mortals such as ourselves who haven’t passed bar exams. Things like credit card-sized print, an overabundance of links, and some weird double slash signature thingy at the very end which still has no explanation whatsoever as to why.

I also swear that I never intended to talk about Amazon and Amazon KDP so much on this blog about coloring books, but they have provided me with so much face-palming material that I would be amiss not to discuss them. I hope one day I can move on and discuss—actually, not sure what there is to discuss. I’m not so much complaining but I am hoping that they will course correct if enough of us speak up. This is part of the problem—authors are afraid to speak up for fear of retribution so there’s not a lot of information out there aside from some crummy overly-toxic, self-policing KDP Author’s Community and a self-publishing subreddit with the same old miserable folk fishing in the same blue algae pond, trying to sucker unsuspecting newcomers and people’s grandmothers into handing them money in order to get them through an otherwise simple process. Sure, there are some well-meaning people there, but honestly, what are the majority of people doing there lurking in the first place aside from peddling services or pushing their books to other authors? The whole thing is weird. It’s really weird. They’re weird. And to quote Jim Morrison, people are strange…

I want Amazon KDP to succeed in helping independent authors but they seem to be stuck in their ways or have their hands conveniently tied, and there’s little getting through the firewalls they have surrounded each department with. To put it bluntly, the communication within their corporation is poor.

Anyways, this begins the latest chapter in discovering how much of a mess the system for authors and illustrators can be, but this time discussing some of the issues related to trademarks and branding for “additional protections.” And for those wondering, there are still more unbelievable things that I haven’t brought up yet…

A quick background:

I’ve been doing this illustration “thing” professionally for a very long time and not to brag, I guarantee all of you have seen my work without even realizing it. It’s been in everything from CVS, magazines, movies, television, Home Depot, Lowes, and has decorated the walls of famous musicians (more recently someone who released an unexpected country album) to politicians and one very strange prince. No, not THAT Prince, a different one who wanted his prize camel buried, tagged, and decomposed, sent to Canada for reassembly, and for me to recreate it in 3D to put it virtually in his living room where guests could look out proudly over his collection of Lamborghinis through a kitchen window which looked out into his garage. Unfortunately, that last weird request never worked out as I know nothing about camel anatomy (I wasted a day researching it) but it tops the list along with a cranberry farmer who was arrested for squatting in Thailand while planning off-season shrimp farming and was thrown into a prison where he languished after insulting the king because he disagreed about owning beachfront property.

I really can’t make this stuff up. As much as I would love to, that’s an entirely different level of creative storytelling that can’t be willed into existence.

But I digress.

I am very familiar with copyrights, trademarks, and even the process of patenting. One of my very first temp jobs straight out of college was working in a patent office. And no, I’m no Einstein. I’d also add that the job was mind-numbingly boring and any moron with a few brain cells rattling around could probably do it. But it sounds cool… Did you know how many stupid patents people apply for on any given day? But again, I digress. Yes, I have had thousands of images stolen (and are still out there) from my library of works over the past two decades. I’ve also fought all of them successfully, not because of money (hard to squeeze water from a stone) but mostly because of duplicate content and search engine penalization. I realize that most people who are engaging in this type of behavior are often struggling to make ends meet and don’t even realize what they are doing in the first place.

Once upon a time (15 years ago I believe,) I even filed for a design trademark with the USPTO for my main illustration business. It was a far different process back then and it wasn’t as streamlined as it was today. I also think it was more expensive. I had filed and thought I had done everything properly, but almost a year later I received a letter from the USPTO saying there was an issue with the color or the logo design itself and that I had something like six months to appeal it. I couldn’t have been bothered, so I let the application expire. After all, I was already using my logo everywhere and had my businesses long registered within the state and local town as a DBA. For a good 20+ years, I never had to use one. Until now.

The purpose of trademarks and copyrights:

As for what trademarks accomplish and how they differ from copyrights, trademarks protect a brand or a logo, so that others doing business in that country as well as some that participate cannot (or rather shouldn’t) be using something similar. For example, now that I have been approved to use the TM for Hello Charlie™, no one else in the United States and I think Canada can use Hello Charlie on their packaging, naming their company, books, etc. I’m not looking to sue anyone—far from it unless they are doing something very bad. In my case, someone recently was creating a book using my images, content, and even my name and I just wanted to put a quick stop to the potential theft of my coloring books in the future. The problem is that Amazon has had a long history of issues complying with copyright takedown requests from other authors, often with Amazon Content Review asking the original authors via email if they have a trademark.

As for copyrights, this is a widely misunderstood concept and legal term that I’d wager 99.9% of the public simply doesn’t understand. The part that’s widely misunderstood is that according to USPTO copyright law, all works such as music, drawings, and writings are automatically copyrighted by US Law from the time of creation. And yes, I’m referring to 98% of all those inbreds on the self-publishing forum that just had their first lightbulb moment after reading this. Like ever. And this is why I get frustrated. Just talking about in a toxic forum is like a bad zombie movie, but the zombies are really slow and brain dead. But somehow they just keep coming and coming, almost as if their parents forgot to use prophylactics and the generations before that…   

Update: the USPTO has added additional language to their website about the additional protections afforded by filing for copyrights through them. It’s not every day that I check the comings and goings of all legal issues so some of what I say might seem outdated. What I have said about copyrights becoming automatic still hasn’t changed, but I would also follow their directives or recommendations first if you have any questions. It can’t hurt to file, especially with text-based works. It is easier with images and working files to prove originality. At one point, I was creating two to 10 images per week for my clients. As you could imagine, that could get quite messy and expensive having to copyright all of those works. Other times, my clients wanted to be the copyright holder. 

But I digress.

However, the issue lies in disputes between two or more parties and trying to prove who is the originator of said works. It’s never been a particular issue for me, because I know better and retain all working files of my illustrations. It would take too much effort, if not even possible on someone else’s behalf in a court of law to try to demonstrate or forge that they originated my works. Writing on the other hand is a different beast as it can be a matter of simple copy and pasting that can wrap parties in legal battles, assuming that both parties can afford litigation and that there’s enough “meat on the bones” to make things worthwhile in the first place.

Most copyright disputes—easily around 99% end up simply with someone issuing a takedown and the other party complying. To be awarded damages, you have to prove that someone has either caused irreparable harm or that they were profiting greatly at your expense. Very few people can qualify for those points. But hey, if you don’t want to believe me, I’m sure there’s an attorney out there who will gladly take your money for an initial consultation and will probably tell you the same thing. That’ll be $350 for that meeting. Oh and if you still want to pursue it, you would be talking a retainer and a few thousand probably for research followed by a cease and desist letter or a DMCA takedown, which still probably earns you no money as you’re likely squeezing water from a stone. Now that will cost you one kidney and your firstborn child.

But again, you kids with little future prospects believe what you want and blame your terrible concept of how copyrights operate on older generations or a failed school system. After all, we’re just the AI equivalent of a moon landing in a Hollywood studio lot. Which oddly reminds me of the time an elderly Buzz Aldrin punched someone after they suggested the moon landing was a hoax. I get it now Buzz. I get it… Whoever said “patience is a virtue” definitely had it coming.

Why I decided to apply for a trademark:

Recently, I came across publishing reporter Jane Friedman’s blog on a different copyright issue she had been dealing with. There was some crossover with my issues. She had mentioned that Amazon reached back out to her and asked her if she had a trademark to which she replied she hadn’t. At first, they denied her request, but then in a sudden reversal took down a large series of books that had been using her name. Probably, her high visibility and connections to organizations such as the Author’s Guild afforded her additional protections that most people wouldn’t be provided. But her piece regarding the trademark request from Amazon reminded me of things I had to deal with in the past. Unfortunately, I too have hit brick walls when requesting DMCA takedowns. A trademark can help expedite the process and remove additional doubt.

The trademark process:

As a result of recent incidences, I began applying for the Hello Charlie trademark last week without the help of attorneys or legal help websites. The initial filing fee is around $250 or they have an additional one for $350—quite honestly I’m still confused as to their differences. Me being me, I chose the cheaper one. Then if you want to apply for more categories (let’s say your brand PeanutWhippers makes cornbread bananas and also window washing widgets,) I think it costs you an additional $100 per separate category. Thankfully, mine is just simply books.

Oh and let’s back up a little. First and foremost: always do your research on the TEAS website to see if the name you want to trademark already exists. If it is, you either have to hope it will expire and not be renewed, or you’re screwed and have to go with something else. Once upon a time, this used to be a painful and costly research process that was aided by attorneys. Sure you could do it yourself, but it required a lot of time and knowledge as to where to look. These days, it’s all provided conveniently on TEAS databases.

Now once you’ve done all the homework and read or skipped through the pages of the application process, you pay your fee and then you just wait to hear back.

Surprisingly, I filed on Thursday and received a phone call yesterday (Monday) from “Public Service” which I thought was a total scam. It was someone with a heavy accent who sounded like a robot, punctuated by my cell phone breaking up, and further punctuated by what I believe was his cell phone losing connection. Then to add to my confusion, he spoke rapidly.

As our conversation continued, he went through details that only the best hackers could have known, or that he was the real deal. I was initially told 8 months, and this was only happening a few days later so I started to become even more paranoid. Ages ago, I had never received a phone call from the USPTO as it was all done by letter and maybe an email or two.

He asked a few more questions about my background and said he saw that my books were on Amazon. He also reviewed my website. He said something about owing an additional $425 for something about a declaration and that it would be good for 14 years. Now, the $425 took me in complete shock as I hadn’t seen that mentioned anywhere. Now my paranoia was running full tilt. I tried looking up this additional fee twice and saw the fee mentioned elsewhere on the USPTO website, but my brain was fried and I couldn’t understand it. But I was like, “Sure, here’s my wallet…”

He then provided me with either a reference or serial number towards the end of the call (sorry, I forget which one) and reiterated that I could start using the magical Hello Charlie™ but not the R for now until it goes through further review by a USPTO attorney.

Now it’s that second part (securing the official registration) which takes approximately 8.2 months according to their website filing times, assuming nothing else goes haywire and they want to shake you down for even more money which I’m fairly certain will be en route, seeing that I decided to forgo the attorney option and I think attorney’s may just have it in for people like me.

I haven’t reached that final stage yet, but I’ll try to keep you up to date if or when I get there. I’m just hoping that I’m catching their attorney on a good day (if you’re reading this wink I love you—that’s right, I’m looking at you mister handsome or misses gorgeous patent attorney.) You have a very short amount of time and you need to be responsive to all these phone calls and rejection letters or they will cut you faster than a hot butter knife.

Enter Amazon Brand Registry:

What is it? It’s a service on Amazon that claims to offer sellers additional protection from jerks abusing the product name you coveted. Now, when you first visit the site, they try to refer you to a bunch of law firms that will do the same thing that I mentioned above, but for more money. Sometimes possibly in the thousands. I mean, maybe you’re better off going this route. Time will only tell if I can get to the very end and secure that mark officially. But I might feel differently in about 8 months or so.

I have a feeling that even if you went with their list of law firms that provide trademark aka brand services, there’s always a chance you will be hit up with additional filing fees unless the firm you choose states otherwise. Again, it’s your choice and your money.

I thought all I had to pay was $250 and now I’m suddenly out $675, so anyways…

At the Amazon Brand Registry, you can proceed to register with their site but have to provide information. You don’t have to have the TM issued to begin this process, but you will need the serial number (now I remember) that was issued to you upon paying the initial filing fee over at the USPTO. There are three pages in total (as far as I can recall) asking for simple things like your address and name, type of business, trademark name, etc.

It did ask for one image of my desired trademark so I opened up Google Docs, spaced down a bit, centered, and typed in ‘Hello Charlie.’ Then I took a screenshot, cropped it, then uploaded it.

Now this final page is an utter show and the whole reason why I started this article. Again, hopefully, they change it in the future to take into consideration their own KDP authors such as myself. The third page is titled, “Manufacturing and distribution information.” There are two things they require, which are impossible for you to provide if you’re producing books through Amazon KDP. First, they require “proof” of an arrangement between you and a third-party manufacturer. Well, yeah…

Secondly, they require you to “upload a copy of any recent sourcing/manufacturing/supply invoice…” Again. KDP. HELLO? ANYONE IN THERE???

What I did was write a letter with my name, and my trademark application serial number, and explained to them that my books were already on Amazon under Amazon KDP and that I did not have access to the information that they had requested. I also told them to reach out to themselves. While I was writing this, I also reached out to KDP to see if they could provide me with those documents.

Of course, the rep at KDP had no clue whatsoever what I was even referring to. No one had ever asked him these questions. Which to be truthful, I was anticipating. So I channeled my inner Karen and asked to speak with a manager. The manager also seemed at first unconcerned but also never had encountered this situation before, but once I explained my blogging of all this, he seemed to suddenly spring to life and promised that he would look into this for a resolution.

The day after I received this gem of a totally useless email and waste of time from Amazon KDP: